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Skipping past Writober and Nanoblomo . . ? Shit, I dunno. I'm as bored as you are.


Thursday, July 27, 2006

It’s a Sign!

A truck ran over our company’s sign. Apparently, a semi-tractor-trailer driver had trouble maneuvering into the adjacent building’s parking area. So, now, one of the huge brick columns supporting the sign is doing the way-back.

I’d like to think this is some kind of Divine Retribution for the ugly business cards that every employee in our company was given last week.*

There's more to drink (click for it) »

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/27 at 04:00 PM
(0) Comments closedPermalink

Saturday, July 22, 2006

ohmygod . . .

This one’s for Styro and CW.

The Girls played (as a favor) at a church “block party” last night . . . part of some city-wide religious out-reach . . . thing. Anyway, this guy walks up to Michelle as we’re leading Mia back to our car to go home.

This guy: “I just wanted you to know that I go to this church, and my license plate is ‘80s DUDE,’ and I obviously thought you were great.”

Michelle (backing away): “Thanks.”

This guy (reading my shirt): “What’s . . . that . . . say . . ?”

Me: “Oh, it says, ‘Oh my god . . .’ “

This guy: “Uh . . . ha . . .” *walks off*

Michelle: “Probably not the most appropriate shirt to wear to this.”

Me: “You should’ve worn yours.”

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/22 at 06:56 AM
"Rock Star"The Bad Citizen (4) Comments closedPermalink

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I Think Maybe that Guy was an Insurance Salesman

So, Mia’s preschool, which is still pretty new, is forming a PTA/PTO. As I’m the one who usually picks Mia up, I’d be the obvious household-representative in this parental venture. I’d missed the first meeting to elect the officers, so I thought I’d show up for the next one. Which was yesterday evening.

This was a first time for me. And if I’d had any preconceived notion how things would unfold, it would’ve been pretty much as it was: slightly unorganized, mostly cordial, and somewhat uncomfortable (hello, toddler chairs!). My favorite part was the know-it-all douchebag who showed up right as things were getting going, took over the meeting with his “questions” and unsolicited advice and, when it was clear that no-one was gonna take his suggestions and run with them, promptly got up and walked out. The other great part was the general feeling that standard fundraising doesn’t work and that most parents would prefer to just cut a check to the PTO rather than trying to foist candy bars or pizza dough on their neighbors and coworkers, especially if there were school-donated incentives.

My direct participation in this meeting was very limited, but useful, so I guess I’ll go next time. Because, while I may be misanthropic in general, I feel it’s important to be involved in Mia’s school life.

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/20 at 04:02 PM
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Longest Day

My Saturdays have a fairly familiar pattern. That’s the day I usually spend taking my mom out for groceries, which doubles as mom’s time with Mia. Sometimes, there are other activities mixed in as well. This past Saturday was overflowing, and I had the whole day planned as an orchestrated pilgrimage around the Greater Tallahassee MSA.

You see, Michelle was out of town with the Girls, so it was me and Mia all day. Besides the grocery-shopping with mom, there was a play date planned with her step-cousin in Woodville and a cookout that evening at Mr. Glory Hole’s. Plus, I was gonna swing by the office to do a couple things.

I’m actually amazed that the whole day went “as planned.” I’d asked in advance to borrow Michelle’s shitty-ass Digital Elph to document the Day in the Life I had laid out. So click on our lovely daughter to begin the Flickr tour.

I didn’t include many of the pictures from the Glory Hole cookout because, well, they weren’t that interesting. Y’know, not as interesting as a blurry shot of my wife text-calling me a “whore.”

And I chose not to do a Stats for this weekend, but I can summarize by saying that I drank WAY too much (not even a full cow-sized steak and an Anna Nicole Smith-sized breast of chicken was gonna soak THAT shit up). And I may have needed to lie down on the floor for, I dunno, 45 minutes or so to keep it real. I seriously haven’t had a drink since. Actually, I think I’m still hungover.

Or, more likely, I deserve the “Sign of the ‘P’.”

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/19 at 03:46 PM
DrinkingWeekends (1) Comments closedPermalink

Monday, July 17, 2006

There’s GOLD in Those Black Hills!

(Erin, if you haven’t caught up with the Deadwood, you’d better not be reading this. Turn off your computer and go watch it.)

So, according to the HBO website, we’re halfway through the season and I can’t for the life of me figure out how they’re gonna hold things together for another six episodes. Seriously, the town/camp is gonna EXPLODE. Fucking George Hearst, the dirty bastard. And we know that he isn’t going to get gloriously murdered, because the motherfucker went on to discover Cosmopolitan. Y’know, by extension.

What worries me, though, is that our dark, laudenum-laced lady of the camp, Mrs. Alma Garret-Ellsworth, is NOT a real person from history. And, thus, she could get off’d at any moment. Why can’t she have the sapphic moment with Joanie? Jane? For fuck’s sake!

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/17 at 04:06 PM
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Friday, July 14, 2006


As we don’t have Drano in our house right now, and should you ever come over for sushi, don’t choose the long, wooden chopsticks. Use the short, painted ones.

Just a tip.

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/14 at 07:54 AM
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Thursday, July 13, 2006

Old English in Gainesville

When you’re relaxing after your band’s set, played to a crowd of three, by listening to a heavy-metal band made up of dejected high-school dropouts lifted from a Mountain Goats’ song (with a crowd approximately 33% larger than yours), and the bum who didn’t pay cover climbs onto the stage to flap his arms to the music before he is guided from the stage by the soundman and then ushered out by the doorguy, you’d better keep an eye on your malt liquor is all I’m sayin’.

shaken and poured by Scott-san on 07/13 at 11:52 AM
"Rock Star" (1) Comments closedPermalink

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

No, Really, This is the Last One.

Three Best Things from World Cup ‘06

Three Five Worst Things from World Cup ‘06


There's no "I" in threesome.


I can't remember whether I've seen anything new since my birthday. Oh, right, that one.


I was hoping for a little more detail in the accounts of mauling-by-zombie. But the anecdotes were disturbing, nonetheless..


I don't have a solid grasp on which exact cheap beers I had at the ATL watering holes.