Skipping past Writober and Nanoblomo . . ? Shit, I dunno. I'm as bored as you are.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
“We’re Not Special. We’re Japanese.”
No, I haven’t quit . . . yet. As I’m hurdling towards 35 (coughtomorrowcoughcough), I’ve discovered blogging is really stupid, unless you have something funny or important to say. And, usually, I have neither. I’ve thought about hanging up THIS blog and starting an online poetry journal. Or something. Right now, I guess we’re gonna stick with the status quo, probably posting less frequently here and saving personal and/or day-to-day drivel for myself and my friends.
And what says “status quo” more than a bulleted list?
- This new season of shows is gonna be the death of me. I think “Studio 60” and “Heroes” are locks to be around for a while . . . especially as “Heroes” hints at a uniting the mutants in some X-Men-like supergroup. Against the evil father of our mutant cheerleader hero. (I was a little baffled by parts of that premier, but the previews for the season put me at half-mast. If you know what I mean. And nothing, NOTHING, on T.V. this season* is funnier than that Japanese hero and his geeky friend.)
- As the “heroes” started drifting into each other’s lives, I started thinking it was becoming a mutant-themed version of “Six Degrees.” And that show is more like “Zero Degrees,” because EVERYONE on the fucking show has met everyone else. How much more could their lives be intertwined? None, unless you called the show “Six Degrees . . . of Caligula.”
- Y’know, I didn’t even watch Monday Night Football last night, and I’m already fucking tired of hearing “When the Saints Come Marching In.” Sorry, New Orleans.
- When you’re used to a relatively light breakfast, it’s probably not a good idea to kick off the day with slices from two different birthday cakes.
Monday, September 18, 2006
This Tops Applebee’s for “Bad Experiences in a Restaurant.” Hands Down.
You probably already “heard” about this from Michelle, but if you haven’t, here’s a warning:
When craving a steak, choose a restaurant that doesn’t have insect bits in their salads. Preferably one that won’t try and charge you for such a salad. Even if that means going to motherfucking Outback.
Friday, September 15, 2006
She Did GREAT with the Arm-Squeezy Thing, Though
This week has been relatively relaxing (at work). And the weekend looks to be packed with interesting and diverse activities . . . with a nice dose of The Drinking. All of this calm and soothiness can only lead to one thing: DISASTER!
Here’s where we stand at the moment:
- Y’know what will make you feel better about putting your daughter through the relative (but necessary) pain and trauma of vaccinations during her annual physical? Having her tell you, “I don’t want her to stab me, daddy.”
- I’m really excited about tonight. In the space of a few hours, I’ll get to have a gyro, drink lots of beer, play trivia, and see my wife’s band play. I don’t think there’s anyone else on this planet that will have the same experience. So, suck it, The Internets!
- I just spent lunch reading every post from this webcomic. And then, in a moment of inspiration, I made my first attempt to draw a crude Baby Jesus.
- A post about rearranging the living room? I should really take that down. Actually, I should take this whole motherfucking blog down.
- This is karma for pushing Matt Leinhart into the endzone against Notre Dame last year.
- I’ve put together a football pool. Except it’s not for football, but for the Mid-Term Election in November. I probably won’t talk too much about it here because I have another, currently unused, blog that I can inject with this purpose. Anyway, if you fancy yourself a political prognosticator and think you might be staying up late on November 7, you should play along.
- Tomorrow would’ve been the two-week-a-versary for me and my cold, but I think it’s finally going away now. For real. It’d been on the wane for over a week. Yesterday, my nose and chest were pretty well dried out, but my sinus cavity was irritated on the left side and it felt like I’d been punched under my eye. And my teeth hurt. Which, I think we can all agree, is the worst thing this side of some horror befalling your genitalia.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Shifting Around the Leather
My marriage reached an important milestone this weekend: It was the first time we’ve thought about rearranging the living room, and actually purchased new furniture for the event, and then backed away from our plans. And THEN actually returned the furniture. I know, shocking.
Michelle has quite the reputation for rearranging the house and/or painting and redecorating. The current arrangement began a few summers ago when we refinanced our house and bought a set of (cheap) leather furniture (on Ebay)—a couch, a loveseat, a lounge, a chair, and an ottoman. Archie killed the chair (with his urine) last year. Because it was way more furniture than we needed in one sitting area, the lounge found a place in the corner and was almost entirely unused (even by Archie).
Recently, Mr. ADD mentioned in passing that we should rearrange our living room to have the T.V. in the corner (where the lounge was). And I started thinking about it. Then Michelle started thinking about it. Sunday, she picked up an entertainment center and, that night, we started planning the new set up. In the end, we decided to keep the entertainment center we have because, seriously, we’d need multiple units to replace it, and it’s in the only place it can be. But we did rearrange the sitting furniture to open up the room some more, and now the lounge is out where people can sit in it.
Because it’s September, I’ve dubbed it the “Football Chair.”
Monday, September 11, 2006
“Who’s that Blonde Bitch Stabbing All Our Patients?”
Thanks to our friends at Entertainment Weekly and their Fall TV Preview, it looks like my life is gonna get a whole lot less productive. (Yeah, EVEN less productive, dammit.) With “Deadwood” dead (for now) and “Rome” far over the horizon into godknowswhen 2007, I should just cancel my motherfucking HBO, right? (I guess I could give “Entourage” a try, but . . . wait, never mind, I’m about to have no time.)
Y’see, at the end of last season, “West Wing” and “Invasion” were cancelled, which effectively left my TV “Must See” list down to “How I Met Your Mother” and “Lost.” I know, I know . . . all the great shows I’m not watching. Michelle’s wanting to get hooked on “House” because all her blood relations are gushing about it. I feel uncomfortable watching “The Office,” for some reason. I don’t care how hot Lauren Graham is, I won’t watch “Gilmore Girls.” Michelle and I joke about how “ER” has turned into a parody of itself, and the hospital is teetering on the brink of Hell (maybe there should be an “ER” / “Buffy” universe crossover). I feel bad about not watching “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy.” But not “24” or “CSI.” And fuck “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives” right in their collective asses.
Feel free to give a shout out in the comments for your favorite and/or most eagerly anticipated shows. But, for right now, here’s what’s gonna make my next month much more complicated and will probably put an end to our DVR:
- “Brothers & Sisters” – I’m not completely sure about this one. I’m not particularly drawn to Calista Flockhart. Maybe it was just early in the Preview. Considering the rest of the list, I should probably axe this. Although, Sunday nights are pretty quiet.
- “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” – This one’s probably gonna get a lot of “West Wing” fans. I’m mostly excited because it should be well-written and moderately anti-Establishment.
- “The Class” – Just looks fun. The setup is quirky enough to make a great show . . . or a disaster.
- “Heroes” – Unexpected superpowers are awesome!
- “30 Rock” – Tiny Fey could make this really funny, but I also wanna see this in case it or “Studio 60” gets canceled and I can be either indignant or “Eh, it wasn’t that good anyway.”
- “The Nine” – Another interesting premise, which is how ABC* gets you. Could be a little too much like “Lost.” And poor Scott Wolf. Wait ‘til they give him a drinking problem and then Jennifer Love Hewitt shows up. Christ!
- “Six Degrees” – Okay, so this looks like cheesy über-tripe, so much so that I completely tuned out the melodramatically themed commercials for it. Despite the J.J. Abrams connection. But, then, scanning the Preview, I saw Hope Davis pictured in the block for the show. And I’m, all, “Hope Davis is not in that shitty show.” But she is, my friends.
- “The Knights of Prosperity” – Everything Donal Logue is in turns to gold. Okay, that’s absolutely not true, but I watched “Grounded for Life” just because he was in it. For a few episodes, anyway. Robbing Mick Jagger sounds like a good
ideaconcept for a show, too.
Boob Tube • The Media • (11) Comments closed • Permalink
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Tuesday-Friday, Tuesday-Saturday . . . Whatever. I Blame Some Server in California.
This blog is becoming something of a lackadaisical Tuesday (late) recap of my weekend and then a Friday “oh-shit-here-comes-the-NEXT-weekend-look-at-what-I-did-this-week” post. Y’know what I think of that? Oh, shit . . . here:
- This morning, I poured the last of a carton of milk on my Life cereal. I went to the fridge to get the next unopened milk and grabbed the apple juice instead. Which I needed anyway, but I proceeded to pour some of that onto my cereal. And followed it up with more milk. Good thing my nose was stuffed up, or that apple-milky-cinnamon-y Life concoction would’ve grossed me right the fuck out.
- I was trash-talking with Patricia on IM yesterday about her Cowboys’ chances in the now-officially started football season. This gave rise to a bet to see whose team will do better—T.O. and the ‘Boys, or the reigning Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. The loser has perform a mildly humiliating task . . . and provide photographic evidence via his or her blog. (That’d be her blog.)
- If when your daughter is getting into bed after taking a “poop” and says her “booty” hurts, and you suggest, “Would you feel better if someone put ointment on your butthole?” Yeah, your loving partner is totally gonna let you handle that job.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Warning: World’s Largest Aquarium has a Strict No-Refund Policy
So I think I have a full-on cold now, but I still blame the Allergens of Atlanta. I almost never (knockonwood) have allergic reactions, but after a day in the smoggy and toxic Northern Georgia air, I was plagued with post-nasal dripping and then all manner of cold symptoms. Maybe it’s a cold, then. In September. I didn’t get a cold this bad all last winter, so perhaps we’re making up for something and/or my body’s getting the ol’ immune system ready for this winter. Which I kindof appreciate. Except that I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in several nights now. It’s at that stage now where I wake up feeling like total and utter shit and then gradually feel more human as the day goes on and then I slip into bed thinking that the worst is over . . . only to wake up feeling like shit all over again. This morning around 4:30 a.m., I was convinced I was gonna suffocate myself with stuffiness, or drown in my own phlegm. Like, suddenly, I’d been transformed into a guy with end-stage Cystic Fibrosis who was five years beyond his life expectancy, lungs filling up that much more quickly.
The four-day weekend jaunt to Atlanta was only slightly more adventurous than usual, as we took Mia to the World’s Largest Aquarium. This could’ve been a really neat thing, but when she wasn’t freaking out (for the second time in two weeks) at a 3-D movie, she was dragging us from exhibit to exhibit so quickly, we were done in an hour and a half. Which is about half as long as it’s supposed to take. Sure, lots of the exhibits are of the “oh-look-FISH . . . AGAIN” variety, but I could’ve watched the whale sharks for a while longer. And the sea lions. And the spooky, hovering piranha. But Mia’s all, “I wanna go somewhere else!” Or “I wanna slide down the whale, daddy!” Seriously, I think she had a lot more fun walking around thrift stores or playing at CW’s house during the first half of the Georgia Tech / Notre Dame game.
Roadtripping • Weekends • (5) Comments closed • Permalink
Friday, September 01, 2006
Belize? You’re Shitting Me.
I’m not a big fan of posting stories from my childhood, but I was reminded recently of this one time I tried to outsmart my mom when she was putting me to bed. I’d gotten in the habit of chewing gum before bed, and she’d always make me spit it out, telling me I’d choke. Well, this one time, when she came into my room, I took the gum out of my mouth . . . and put it in my bedshirt. She kissed me good night and left. And I promptly fell asleep. You know the rest.
In other news, it’s mini-Meetup time here in Atlanta, where we’re visiting Michelle’s sister. On the way up, we stopped and had lunch with Mark and his awesome and tall wife in Macon. And tomorrow, if the “fates” allow, we’re meeting CW and his wife for dinner. Hilarity will ensue. Likely before we show up.
This post was brought to you by Woodchuck Granny Smith Apple Cider.