My name isn’t really Scott-san, but you probably knew that already, didn’t you, Genius? Maybe in Japan they’d call me that. Either that or “hentai.” But, hey, what are the chances I’ll ever go there? Or that some Japanese people will come over here to see me? Seriously, it’s clear across the planet from Florida.
Hey, y’know what is true? I was reportedly conceived at a New Year’s Eve party. I say “reportedly” because, well, you know how parents lie and how unreliable people’s memories of such parties can be. And then there’s the whole issue of “true.”
Reportedly, I started blogging a week before my daughter was born in 2002. I’d read about this phenomenon-to-be in Newsweek (not even a story about Dooce, although she may have been mentioned) and thought how useful it’d be to publish stuff on the Internet. As it turns out, not that useful, unless my objective is lose my job or alienate my real-world friends. Which is kind-of okay because it’s nice having friends you don’t have to interact with on a personal level. Anyway, once I started to reach out and actually develop a small group of virtual friends, I decided to start a new site and Kamikaze Lunchbreak was born. (Originally a reference to my favorite drink and when I was doing all my blogging. And then the dual-meaning revealed itself. And then I started combining the kamikazes and lunchbreak in a new and exciting way.)
I consider myself to be the most average person around. Okay, slightly above average, because my opinion of “average” isn’t very high. Still, like most people, I have dreams and aspirations that will likely go unattained and unfulfilled. This is why I originally started blogging under the name “ambitionless.” Sure, I play in a band and write poetry. But creatively, I have a short attention span.
Also, this is my second draft of the “About” text. (Second-and-a-half, actually.) Like everything else, the first attempt was too earnest and sappy.
Kamikaze Lunchbreak is not filmed before a live studio audience. But if it was, my part would be played by Ewan McGregor. Or I’d have to stuff my pants.