Beer Before Liquor . . . Eat a Dick

In the course of my long and distinguished drinking “career,” I’ve never been a believer in the whole “Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, never fear” rule(s). I much prefer “Never too much of one thing,” or “All things in moderation . . . as opposed to, say, mixed together in a funnel.”

The pirate / birthday adventure was a good time. More on that later (with PICTURES as we found our camera).

No, see, I’m here to put forth a drinking theory. You understand that part of the problem with people getting sick from drinking tequila is that, besides drinking a lake of it, tequila has a very specific taste. Like rum or gin. Vodka (and Everclear) don’t, which is why I can still drink those comfortably even though they’ve rocked me in the past. But what if you mixed your alcohols in such a way that the flavors / auras cancelled one-another out? How do you think 2 ½ Junebugs, two Red Stripes, a Bacardi Limon concoction, and an indeterminate whiskey and Seven would go down? I’ll tell you: Surprisingly well. Seriously, I might have been generous with the ice on those drinks, but I had no discernable hangover the next morning and no lingering flavors.

Atlanta? Bring it.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: This is what’s wrong with my drinking career . . . I can’t even get the Golden Rule right. Thanks, my commenting friends. I had it right, but typed it wrong.)

1. I always thought it was liquor TO beer, never fear, beer TO liquor, never sicker.  Isn’t that the opposite of yours?  If so, that explains a lot.  To someone.

   Posted by cw  on  04/10  at  05:09 PM

2. I’m impressed that you can drink so heavily and still bounce back.  Bummed I’ll be missing the party, but please drink a lot and dance with your cute baby girl for me!

   Posted by teahouseblossom  on  04/11  at  12:04 AM

3. Look, I talk a good game with all the drinking. I feel like I can hold my own. But it’s not a drink-to-get-drunk thing, like when I was, um . . . 18?

   On the way to the beach, I was telling Mr. Glory Hole about the liver-torturing ol’ days and how I couldn’t do that today. Of course, Mr. Glory Hole was the one with the pocket full of beer bottle tops before midnight.

   Posted by Scott-san  on  04/11  at  07:57 AM

4. Limon is the cancelling agent.  Drink a couple of those with 7up and pineapple you’re good to go all night.  Then again, i’ve been old enough to drink for 2 years.  but i’ve made the absolute MOST of those 2 years.

   Posted by  on  04/11  at  10:25 AM

5. "Beer before liquor, never be sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.”

   So we’ve established that it obviously doesn’t fucking matter, right?

   Posted by estella  on  04/11  at  12:50 PM

6. You’re officially my new hero.  Because of the copious beverage consumption and also because I ahd TOTALLY forgotten about Limon!  It’s like a whole new world of wasted has just laid itself bare at my feet.

   Posted by erinire  on  04/11  at  01:03 PM

7. Thanks, Mizz Ire. I, too, forgot the Limon as I left almost an entire fifth of it at the beach. Dammit.

   Oh, and I’m editing this post because C-dub and ‘stella are correct. Where did I pick up the “after,” for fuck’s sake?

   Posted by Scott-san  on  04/11  at  03:50 PM

8. What’s going on in Atlanta, is this some sort of drinking olympics?

   Posted by ap  on  04/13  at  06:47 AM

9. AP:  Kind-of.  It’s the regional blogger Meetup.  Sadly, we are to competitive drinking what Bode Miller was to the downhill in Torino.  And for the opposite reason(s).

   Posted by Scott-san  on  04/13  at  07:35 AM
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