‘Tis the Season

It’s birthday time, apparently, at Mia’s preschool. In the past week, we’ve gotten two invitations to birthday parties for classmates. The first one is this Saturday, and it’s for That Mean Boy Who Pushes Mia Down a Lot.

As Michelle and I have a history of attending social functions that we don’t want to be at, thrown by people we don’t really like, Mia seems to have inherited our Socially Curious Misanthrope gene. Observe:

Me: “Do you like TMBWPMDaL?”

Mia shakes her head.

Me: “But you want to go to his birthday party?”

Mia nods.

I guess to protect her as we protected ourselves in similar situations, we should send Mia to the party with a fifth of vodka. Or some Monte Alban.

1. Or some brass knuckles.

   Posted by rob  on  08/03  at  01:52 PM

2. or a taser.

   Posted by  on  08/03  at  02:45 PM

3. a party is a party is a party. nobody understand this better than kids. cake! balloons! = good times even when bullies are present.

   Posted by  on  08/03  at  03:24 PM

4. Jello shots are okay for kids, right? Fuck a kid that pushes girls. Scott, go kick his mom’s ass.

   Posted by Erin  on  08/04  at  01:56 PM

5. Today, picking Mia up from school, I ran into the mother of one of her friends.

   “Are you guys going to the thing tomorrow?”

   They were, and I wondered aloud what would be a good gift. Turns out that this woman must KNOW the birthday boy. She rattled off a few ideas, and then asked her daughter, “So, what else does TMBWPMDaL like?”

   “Hitting me.”

   I think this kid needs a FIST for his birthday.

   Posted by Scott-san  on  08/04  at  08:56 PM

6. Veteran parents know that hell is other children, to paraphrase.

   Don’t you love shopping for obnoxious kids you don’t really know? And making stupid chit chat with their parents when you really want to say, “Why is your kid such a fucking brute? Have you considered homeschooling?”

   Yeah, me neither.

   One of my friends says there should always be booze for the adults. I LOVE her and her kids parties.

   Posted by SJ  on  08/06  at  06:02 PM

7. How about a bottle of Ritalin with a bright pink bow on it and no card?

   (You may want to get Mia a copy of my daughter’s latest book, “The Joy of Kicking the Special Place.")

   Posted by Chris  on  08/06  at  08:13 PM

8. mia is SMART.

   Posted by marshmallow  on  08/06  at  10:47 PM
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