Like His Hero, Superman, That Kid IS Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

First of all, shout out to Tallahassee. If you live anywhere like us, you’re often plagued by noisy menaces of the road, and I’m torn as to which is worse: the souped-up pickups with too-large aggressive tires that apparently require in-board tugboat engines to fucking rotate the wheels*, or the tricked-out Honda Civics that are dropped to the ground and made to sound like mopeds**. Seriously, I don’t know which is worse, but I’m leaning toward the pickups.

So, the party was a good time. It was another one featuring horses, pony rides, and a hay ride. Figures that when the kids find out that the horses eat 40 pounds of hay a day, they’re going to abandon the just-for-fun feeding and play on the big mound of dirt in the barn. The birthday boy didn’t bully anyone because he was totally TWEAKED OUT on sugar. Seriously, the kid was running CONSTANTLY and sweating more than Patrick Ewing. The only food served at the party? Cupcakes. With tons of icing. Before lunch. The birthday boy sat down long enough to blow out a candle and lick all of the icing off one of the cupcakes. My only conversation with his mother centered on the fact that he takes really long naps every day. And watching him running around like Roadrunner, I’d say they were well-earned.

* These trucks really sound like they’re working extra hard under the hood.

** These guys are not O.G. All I do when these guys pass by is shake my head. I’ll give a respectful nod to the drivers of low-rider Caddies, but not these clowns. And three-tiered spoilers? Seriously?

Posted by Scott-san on 08/07 at 04:04 PM
  1. Two one eyed dogs, they’re looking at stereos
    Hi-fi Gods try so hard to make their cars low to the ground
    These vibrations oil its teeth
    Primer gray is the color when you’re done dying
    --Modest Mouse

    Posted by kiddicus maximus  on  08/08  at  10:43 AM
  2. i don’t have any idea why the mother was serving iced cupcakes!!

    Posted by marshmallow  on  08/08  at  08:26 PM
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