Monthly Newsletter: Month Forty-Nine?

You’re asleep in the next room here at the Hampton Inn & Suites in Valdosta, Georgia. We spent the day (well, four hours of it) at Wild Adventures to celebrate your birthday. Tomorrow, after we wake up, take in the complimentary “hot breakfast,” and repack our belongings, we’re gonna swing by Wild Adventures again for a hopefully longer session of fun before making the 90-minute drive back to Tallahassee. Sunday is the family “party” and the many presents.

You “officially” started preschool two weeks ago, and you’re already asking about kindergarten. Which kind-of worries us, as we’re really torn about the various schooling options that lie before us . . . the overly diverse magnet school (focus on the arts) we’re zone for, the “charter” school that may or may not be run by hippies, or the school your mommy’s office is zoned for (demographically resembling the city as a whole and a solid performer). I feel like a racist worrying about these kinds of issues, but your early homecare had excluded African-American children as a business decision*, and the subsequent preschool years have been overwhelmingly whitebread.

(ASIDE: I really tried, just now, to be fair in the battle of Pepsi vs. Coke as manifested in the third-floor vending area. Of course your mommy was gonna want Diet Coke, so that was a given. But I tried to get Sierra Mist instead of Sprite, and Aquafina over Dasani, and the fucking Pepsi machine would NOT take my dollar bills. The Coke machine sucked those things right in. So we’re drinking their horrible corporate water over Pepsi’s.)

Look, Mia, we really couldn’t ask for a better daughter. Is what I’m trying to say. Sadly, you’re cursed with imperfect parents . . . your mother, who won’t eat ketchup because it’s made from tomatoes but loves barbeque sauce (denying that it’s just spiced-up ketchup), and your father, who until a year ago thought that wasabi was, like guacamole, made from avocados, and just earlier this evening uttered the phrase, “I bet Tallahassee is gettin’ tore up by rain right now.”

Rise above, sweet Mia. Rise above.

* Our daycare provider was no racist, either. But she once admitted a black child and had four families pull their children OUT. I guess losing a third of your clientele while trying to be fair will make you rethink your ethics.

Posted by Scott-san on 08/25 at 08:26 PM
  1. I’m missing something....why does thinking about all of this make you feel like a racist? Are you specifically wanting her to go to an all-white school? I’m guessing the answer is no but I’m just not understanding the problem. Forgive me if it’s obvious and I’m just being dense.

    Posted by patricia  on  08/26  at  07:34 PM
  2. I love you but these dooce-rip-off “dear 596 month old baby” things are so fucking annoying that I couldn’t even bring myself to read it.  Sorry.  OMG I HATE YOU!!!!

    Posted by styro  on  08/28  at  02:29 PM
  3. OK, I just read it, and your daycare provider is a racist.  And so is her clientele if a third of her peeps pulled out because she admitted a black kid.  Isn’t that also illegal?

    Posted by styro  on  08/28  at  02:32 PM
  4. I’m not sure. She doesn’t advertise and gets referrals out the ass, so she turns people down for all sorts of reasons.

    She’s a very sweet woman, but I never decided whether that excuse was merely convenient. This being the Deep South, I always gave her the benefit of the doubt.

    pea: The school we’re zoned for is 65% African-American.  The city’s demographics are close to 40%.  As I’ve said, Mia’s daycare was 0%, and her current preschool is about 5%.  I think that might be a culture shock.  Plus, that school fluctuates between being an A- and B-level school, whereas the OTHER one we could put her in is a solid A-level.  The hippie charter school is also a solid A-level.  I don’t think they’d fight us going outside our zone as that school is a “magnet” school and is over 95% capacity.

    Posted by Scott-san  on  08/28  at  04:14 PM
  5. charter school bad. 

    if you have reason to think that the school near michelle’s job performs well academically, that’s probably the best fit.  however… my first teaching job was an arts magnet and the diversity made it an awesome place to be, plus the kids had access to tons of concerts/art activities/guest authors that the other schools didn’t have.

    Posted by s  on  08/28  at  05:07 PM

    Race relations, schmace relations, let’s have some motherfucking cake.

    Posted by Erin  on  08/28  at  06:36 PM
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