“Who’s that Blonde Bitch Stabbing All Our Patients?”

Thanks to our friends at Entertainment Weekly and their Fall TV Preview, it looks like my life is gonna get a whole lot less productive. (Yeah, EVEN less productive, dammit.) With “Deadwood” dead (for now) and “Rome” far over the horizon into godknowswhen 2007, I should just cancel my motherfucking HBO, right? (I guess I could give “Entourage” a try, but . . . wait, never mind, I’m about to have no time.)

Y’see, at the end of last season, “West Wing” and “Invasion” were cancelled, which effectively left my TV “Must See” list down to “How I Met Your Mother” and “Lost.” I know, I know . . . all the great shows I’m not watching. Michelle’s wanting to get hooked on “House” because all her blood relations are gushing about it. I feel uncomfortable watching “The Office,” for some reason. I don’t care how hot Lauren Graham is, I won’t watch “Gilmore Girls.” Michelle and I joke about how “ER” has turned into a parody of itself, and the hospital is teetering on the brink of Hell (maybe there should be an “ER” / “Buffy” universe crossover). I feel bad about not watching “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy.” But not “24” or “CSI.” And fuck “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives” right in their collective asses.

Feel free to give a shout out in the comments for your favorite and/or most eagerly anticipated shows. But, for right now, here’s what’s gonna make my next month much more complicated and will probably put an end to our DVR:

• “Brothers & Sisters” – I’m not completely sure about this one. I’m not particularly drawn to Calista Flockhart. Maybe it was just early in the Preview. Considering the rest of the list, I should probably axe this. Although, Sunday nights are pretty quiet.
• “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” – This one’s probably gonna get a lot of “West Wing” fans. I’m mostly excited because it should be well-written and moderately anti-Establishment.
• “The Class” – Just looks fun. The setup is quirky enough to make a great show . . . or a disaster.
• “Heroes” – Unexpected superpowers are awesome!
• “30 Rock” – Tiny Fey could make this really funny, but I also wanna see this in case it or “Studio 60” gets canceled and I can be either indignant or “Eh, it wasn’t that good anyway.”
• “The Nine” – Another interesting premise, which is how ABC* gets you. Could be a little too much like “Lost.” And poor Scott Wolf. Wait ‘til they give him a drinking problem and then Jennifer Love Hewitt shows up. Christ!
• “Six Degrees” – Okay, so this looks like cheesy über-tripe, so much so that I completely tuned out the melodramatically themed commercials for it. Despite the J.J. Abrams connection. But, then, scanning the Preview, I saw Hope Davis pictured in the block for the show. And I’m, all, “Hope Davis is not in that shitty show.” But she is, my friends.
• “The Knights of Prosperity” – Everything Donal Logue is in turns to gold. Okay, that’s absolutely not true, but I watched “Grounded for Life” just because he was in it. For a few episodes, anyway. Robbing Mick Jagger sounds like a good idea concept for a show, too.

* Did ABC air that “Path to 9/11” bullshit? Because I’m all about a boycott. Except for the painful realization that they might be responsible for 50% of my preferred Network programming. And I’m a whore. A big, dirty whore.

1. You say big, dirty whore like it’s a bad thing. W, man. (Yeah, they aired it.)

   I’m sticking with the old shows, not that I have a lot of time to watch them really. The Gilmore Girls, How I Met Your Mother and (I know, I know) Grey’s Anatomy are really the only things I HAVE to watch. The rest will just have to survive without this TV addict.

   Posted by  on  09/11  at  04:31 PM

2. Okay, wait: Invasion was cancelled??

   Posted by Erin  on  09/11  at  07:43 PM

3. hellloooo nip-tuck. do it.

   Posted by  on  09/12  at  11:21 AM

4. Erin: Yep, “Invasion” was on the proverbial bubble last Spring when there were only a few episodes left to air. But the season wrap-up didn’t bring ‘em in, so we’re left to wonder about Larkin’s transformation from preggers to hybrid.

   Snowy: I thought “Nip/Tuck” might be my cup of tea. But I don’t like tea. (Just kidding, I feel a little bit about not being on board with this one, too.)

   Posted by Scott-san  on  09/12  at  02:03 PM

5. I’m eagerly waiting for Veronica Mars to start. Studio 60 looks good as does the one Tina Fey is in (30 Rock or something like that). We’ve been catching up on Battlestar Galactica and it’s pretty good. Also catching up on Weeds (Showtime) - really good. We watch both of those on DVD because we are cheap about the cable.

   Posted by erika  on  09/13  at  02:07 PM

6. Oh, I was also going to say that every time we see a preview for ER, Aaron says - “Man, I wouldn’t want to go to THAT hospital.” Every time. He’s nothing if not redundant.

   Posted by erika  on  09/13  at  02:09 PM

7. And (I should really not be so quick about the ‘submit’ button) - ‘Path to 9/11’ did air. The bastards.

   Posted by erika  on  09/13  at  02:10 PM

8. nip/tuck is one of those shows i like to watch, yet it weirds me out most of the time with the subject matter. sometimes it’s the surgeries (ick), sometimes it’s just graphic overload to me. for i am sensitive and innocent. [*blush*]

   Posted by  on  09/13  at  02:13 PM

9. Erika: We watch “Weeds,” too. I’d forgotten because we don’t have Showtime, but my mom(my) tapes it for us. Whenever we see a promo for an upcoming “ER,” one of us will drop into that announcer voice and spew out some beyond-drama setup, usually involving demons and/or Hell itself and/or Republicans.

   Posted by Scott-san  on  09/13  at  03:47 PM

10. I think this year I’m going to start watching The Wire on HBO.

    I didn’t know Donal was on Knights of Prosperity, haven’t seen the ads, so thanks for letting me know, I’ll have to give it a try then.  I’ll probably give Jericho a try too, mushroom clouds are always good entertainment.

    Posted by rob  on  09/14  at  05:35 PM

11. Yeah, Veronica Mars is aces (but you’ll have to catch up on seasons 1 & 2 to make season 3 interesting).  Rent some old shit on DVD:  I didn’t think I’d like Alias, but I ate that shit up like CANDY.  All that JJ Abrams shit is aces.

    Posted by styro  on  09/15  at  10:33 AM
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