Our Road is a Deathtrap. I’m Guessing He Couldn’t Have Come from Far Away.

Just as with those letters I used to read in my dad’s Penthouse Forum, I’ve heard of this happening to other people and I never thought it would happen to me.

I found a cat in the engine of my car.

Yesterday morning, as I sauntered out of bed and into the living room, I heard a panicked meowing from outside. Sounded like a kitten. I fingered the blinds open and looked around the “patio” at the end of our house. No cats. Eh, whatever. I flipped on the Weather Channel and started reading a report for work. Every few minutes, I’d hear the cat again, so I got up and went outside. I walked around our carport, the end of the house, and into the neighbor’s yard. I even looked under my car. No cats. (Did find the neighbor’s fucking YIP-dog, though. Man, I hate that dog.)

I drove to work. And worked. Wednesday is “Mom” day, so I left work at lunch and got on the interstate to drive to the Subway near my mom’s place to get our lunch. As soon as I got out of the car, I heard the screaming meow. Of a kitten who had climbed up into my engine compartment. After opening the hood of the car, I couldn’t even SEE the kitten. Nor could I see it from under the car. It was only after knocking on the side panels and calling for him to come out (in my sweetest, playful, kitten-beckoning voice) that he finally dropped down and started winding around my feet.

After a stop at my mom’s (where the kitten even warmed the heart of my pet-intolerant mother), I took the kitten back to the house. I cleaned out our cat carrier, made a litterbox out of a shoebox, and prepped the kitten to go with Michelle to work. Where he was “adopted.”

We’re still not sure where the kitten lived before we “rescued” him. He had a flea collar, and I’m guessing he climbed into my car overnight (in our carport). So . . . neighbors? We checked with the friendly black couple next door, who have no cats. On the other side is a couple with a new-ish baby. Would they have a kitten, too? Michelle went over at lunch yesterday, but no-one answered the door. After work, the husband was outside and I was feeling particularly blah about meeting my neighbors so, fuck it. I’m rolling the dice that, if you lose a kitten you really care about, you’ll be going door to door and/or putting up flyers. We would. Rationalizing, I know.

I blame the Republicans.

Posted by Scott-san on 06/07 at 11:31 AM
 
  1. I was all prepared to believe this story until I got to this: “I drove to work. And worked.” Obviously that’s a lie. Like any one of us really knows the definiteion of “work”. Ergo, the rest of the entry is questionable. As far as stories go though, it’s cute.

    Hi, Scott!

    Posted by  on  06/07  at  02:15 PM
  2. Check out Chapter 705, Florida Statutes. You are a cat thief.

    Posted by  on  06/08  at  08:26 AM
  3. I dunno, there, Mr. Attorney.  The cat was not lost or “mislaid” on public property. It was in my car in MY carport.

    Posted by Scott-san  on  06/08  at  02:36 PM
  4. Ok, then you are like the guy who keeps the kids’ football after it rolls into his yard.

    Posted by  on  06/09  at  12:14 PM
  5. Oh, geez!!  I hope you got some good photos.  You could send your story to snopes.com.

    Posted by teahouseblossom  on  06/09  at  03:48 PM
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